“Where does the energy go?” I asked the doctor, “His body died Saturday, but I
felt his will dissipate on Thursday.”
“That’s a theological question,” the doctor answered.
After my husband Bob’s, death, Rhapsody, Bucky and I would sometimes glow.
There seemed to be this extra light around us. People would stop and stare, in a kind
way, “You from Europe?” they’d ask.
At the Children's museum in Manhattan they had a machine that scans a person’s
aura and color-codes it. You can see a Monet impression of a person’s emergy. If
they scanned the aura of widows, before they became a widow and after, would they
discover any patterns in light transference?
Bob was a force, a gale, a ball buster, a Broadway scene shop owner who built
new worlds from imaginations. When this unseen scene man left I became a bold new
world traveler. We hear for every action there is a reaction. We soak in the
properties of our environments. I wonder did he sprinkle his bold dust to me when he
gusted forever?
We often worry about the seen and spoken, when what is unseen or unspoken has
more impact. A secret. A present wrapped. A pregnancy. A lie.
We sense the unseen, what is that? We feel its absence and presence. We
capture sound waves, something unseen, in a physical form. Sometimes right before
the phone rings a person enters your mind. Email now allows us to send our thoughts
out and received, close to the thought’s birth. I wonder when we’ll quantify thought
waves into a containable seeable form.
Wills and Testaments leave directions for our physical assets new homes. Where
does the unphysical go? The ideas. The stored force. Can a person’s willfullness be
dispersed? Can it be taken, spoken for or just grabbed when its owner no longer
contains it?
When we lack optimism will standing next to someone with too much of it cause
some to seep into us? I wonder if there is a poker game in the sky, the stacks of
currency are ideas, patience, guts and love and the players collect those attributes and
send them to who needs.
We spend time and money distributing physicality when death arrives. We use
paper wills to shape its form. What if the designated die-er spent time reflecting and
dispersing the unseen forces they collected in their lifetime and the living wills
concentrated on receiving them.