Oh Peter bought a grand piano
He’s moving it into his house
Bernadette, his ex-love who still loves him
Is crying alone on her couch
She imagines the movers carrying
The instrument up his steep stairs
She wishes she could slip in there
Lay on the hammers and be light as air
Oh Peter would play his piano
Five fingered fluttering on the black-whites
Bernadette would be hidden and quiet
Then pushed by his passionate flights
You see Peter could never be faithful
To any one woman you see
Peter was only faithful
To tickling his own ivories
Peter wanted to be someone
Bernadette wanted him just to be
He set out to prove himself
For her to be his queen
As Peter tickled and pounded
She Tarzan’d from string to string
[Tarzan Call Here]
T’was funner than a wedding ring
For Bernadette was part of his passions
Peter never lied when he played
For Bernadette was his passion
In his piano till her dying day
Then a funny thing happened to Peter
His fingers wouldn’t play no more
He text messaged those piano movers
Get this black-top out my bleep’in doors
You see Peter could only be faithful
To only one thing you see
Peter could only be faithful in love
While tickling his own ivory.
You see Peter could only be faithful
To his true love you see
Bernadette knew Peter was faithful
When tickling his own ivory.